The story of “How Much My Life Sucks” by Jillian Frank.
One day, Jillian had horrible, horrible reflux. Remembering what her midwife said, Jillian decided that her best course of action would be to buy a container of milk from one of her company’s vending machines. Sadly, Jillian then remember she had no money. She went upstairs to see how much money she would need. The milk was not marked, but was next to $1.00 items, so she guessed that she would need about a dollar to help the pain go away. She went back to her department and over to her friend Scott’s cube. Scott, being the wonderful man that he is, loaned Jillian the dollar so she could buy some milk. Back upstairs Jillian trekked. She inserted her dollar and pressed A1 to activate the machine, only to then be told that the item cost $1.25. Back to her department she went. After searching long and hard, Jillian found a quarter at the bottom of her purse, left over from the preceding weekend. Disheartened but determined, Jillian made the long trip up the stairs to the cafeteria. She inserted $1.25 into the vending machine, pressed A1, and thanks be to God, a container of milk dropped down. Jillian reached over and pried the container from the machine, happy at last. She then happily looked at the the milk container… that which would save her from hours of pain…
And it was expired.
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