Crossover Blog #5: How Motherhood Changes You
This topic… well, I know I could write a lot of beautiful stuff about how becoming a mom has changed me. Tonight, however, I feel a bit defeated. Things not concerning the baby but concerning the grand whole of life have crumbled a bit today. If I thought it enough, I would say that motherhood has changed me greatly: It has given me stretch marks on my stomach, butt, and boobs; It has cleared my complexion only to pave the way for breakouts more major than any I have ever experienced; It caused me to throw out every ounce of sense I had and cut my hair pixie-length short. However, even in the midst of the uneasiness I feel, I can’t simply identify the physical changes I’ve undergone while becoming a mom and call it a blog post. The truth is, I am not the same person I was 14 months ago. To take it a little further, I’m not the same person I was 2 years ago.
The days leading up to Jude’s birth were spent reading and learning and thinking about how I wanted to raise Jude and how I could do best for him. On the day he was born, I lost a bit of myself. I can’t pinpoint exactly what part it is I lost, but I do know that whatever part it was, it’s long gone now. Somehow, throughout my pregnancy and Jude’s birth, I learned the meaning of sacrifice. Somewhere along the way, I learned what it meant to put someone else’s needs before my own. During the past 14 months, I’ve come to embrace myself as “mother,” even though it has meant giving up being “high-ball-drinker,” and “movie-goer,” and “pee-in-solitude-er.”
I have never known love like the love I have for my son. Each and every day the realization that this little boy is mine startles and astounds me. Having Jude has made me more perceptive (though I couldn’t find the cinnamon that was sitting directly in front of me on the counter this morning). Becoming a mom has made me more grateful for everything in life.
I think the Naked Redhead might be better suited to write on this week’s topic. I can talk about how I feel since becoming a mom, but I think what’s more interesting is finding out how other people’s perceptions change as their friends go from being childless to being mothers.
If today were a different day, I might be better able to express my thoughts on motherhood. Perhaps part of my problem is that the changes that have occurred are so abstract that they’re hard to write about. Perhaps I’m just way off my game tonight.
Now skeedaddle over to the Naked Redhead’s blog and read what she has to say about this phenomenon called motherhood.
Want more? Check out the Crossover Blog archive!
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