I Want Ice Cream
Last Friday evening, Josh, Jude, and I went to the Common Cup for coffee. Josh and I were chatting, and Jude was coloring, when this guy and his daughter came in the shop. The girl was a peanut of a thing, so you can imagine my surprise when she states, incredibly clearly, “I want ice cream.”
At that point I just figured she was a very small 2+ year old. When her and her dad sat down, I smiled and said, “She’s really cute! How old is she?” “19 months,” was the father’s reply.
Nineteen months?!?! That’s an entire month younger than Jude. Her command of the English language was amazing-she and her father had a full-fledged conversation as they sat and shared a bowl of ice cream. Wow. At that moment I learned what it is to feel like your child is behind the curve.
It took a little bit of self-talk (and talking with Josh) for me to get out of my funk and recognize the obvious: Jude is no where behind the curve-he’s either right on track developmentally or just a bit ahead. People always comment on his outgoing personality, his athleticism, his intelligence…that’s what I’m used to hearing. That being said, all it took was one little girl to make me feel like I had somehow failed him-like I haven’t read to him enough or engaged him in a sufficient amount of stimulating play.
Being a mom is the toughest thing I have ever done. Some days the realization that I’m responsible for, well, raising, this kid just overwhelms me to the point of a hysterical breakdown. Some days, like this past Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I feel like I’m in way over my head. Days like today, I feel like I might just have a fighting chance.
Do any of you moms or dads feel like this? Are you consumed with the well-being of your child to the point that the worry keeps you up at night? Hello? Is there anybody out there?
Obviously,I am not a mom, but I can tell you that your post sort of encapsulates exactly what I’ve been feeling about potentially being a mother. I am paralyzed with fear at the thought that *I* would be responsible for RAISING another human being. I’ve gone through every possible scenario in my head, and my conclusion is, kudos to moms. They are braver than I’ll ever be.
I have completely given up reading parenting books or visiting websites that list where your child is “supposed” to be at certain points in their development–because then Carl has to spend an hour talking me down off the ledge. Most of the time I know it’s okay that Dasha’s fifteen months and still not walking (heck, she was ten months before she even started crawling), but when I see other children her age who are running all over the place, my heart sinks. It especially stinks being pregnant right now, because I physically can’t do as much with her as I would ideally like, and I’m more easily frustrated … so I feel like a lousy mother most of the time.
That said, she’s happily sitting in my lap while I type right now, listening to Raffi and not getting into trouble or whining, so there are those brief, shining moments, when you realize things are going to be all right, somehow, in the end. As my grandmother says, as long as your kids know you love them, everything else falls into place eventually.
We have very good friends that have kids the same ages as our two. When our oldest wasn’t babbling yet or signing (15 mos) and their little girl was having full blown discussions we were concerned too. Now that they are 2.5 she still has a much stronger grasp on her vocab but he’s talking and totally “normal” for his age. The girl’s mom would often feel frustrated when people commented on her language. She would insist that it wasn’t anything that she did as a mother (and it wasn’t) and to sort of even things out the little girl couldn’t climb stairs (up or down) and our son had stairs mastered around 7 mos. Every kid is different and develops at their own rate- but they DO develop.
Thanks Louise, and thanks, Sarah. I agree… kids develop on their own schedules, and eventually, they learn what they need to. I don’t make the shock of a 19 month old discussing philosophy any less, well, shocking though!
(I kid! Of course they weren’t *actually* discussing philosophy…. I think it was theology!)
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