Friday Firsts: First Pregnancy Scare

(Read about Red’s first over at The Naked Redhead.)

Would you believe me if I told you that before conceiving Jude, I never once got scared that I was (unexpectedly) pregnant? No? It’s the truth! In the months leading up to Jude’s actual conception, there were a few months where I thought I might be pregnant, but they weren’t pregnancy scares–they were pregnancy hopefuls.

But let me tell you… you know what *is* scary? When you realize, even after many months of planning and trying, that HOLY SHIT, YOU’RE PREGNANT! And, A BABY’S GOING TO COME OUT OF WHERE? And, WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GOING TO BE A FULL-SIZED BABY? And, HAVE I MENTIONED, HOLY SHIT?!?!?

There were a few times during my pregnancy when I stopped, looked at Josh, and said, “You know. I’m not sure I’m ready for this.” Each time, that statement was met with silence and an understanding look. As the weeks ticked by and we got closer and closer to Jude’s arrival, I often was overwhelmed with the thought that there was a baby in my belly, and soon I was going to have to care for him. And then I would throw up a little bit in my mouth.

So, while I was lucky to escape the traditional “pregnancy scare” that many, many women deal with, I still had to deal with 41 weeks and 3 days of sheer terror at the thought of A BABY IS GOING TO COME OUT OF MY VAGINA. HOLY SHIT.

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