Dear Josh,

I’m setting this post to publish at 3:00am EST, because two years ago, at approximately that time, you and I began the 31-hour journey to Jude’s birth together.

Every month, around the 21st, I write a letter to Jude to celebrate another month of his life. Tonight I write to celebrate you and all you did for me during what were the hardest hours of my life to date.

Do you remember walking around the neighborhood during the morning hours on the day before Jude was born? We stopped for every contraction and you would hug me and hold me and help me relax. We looked at all the well-manicured lawns and picked which ones would be nice to sit down on if I needed someplace to rest. I think we called it “birthing waves grass” or something like that. I was in the midst of using my Hypnobabies cues, so it was appropriate.

What I remember most about those hours leading up to Jude’s birth is you. I kept you in focus, and you were always there for me. Do you remember what Dhyana and Mary said? They had never seen a couple like us before–a wife who completely trusted her husband, and a husband who was more attentive and present than anyone they had met at any previous birth. Normal life isn’t as painful as those 31 hours were, but the rest of the details of that experience still hold true: You are my focal point in life. I trust you without question. You are always attentive of my needs and present with me. I notice these things and want you to know that I know that they aren’t little or insignificant parts of our life together. I love you and I feel so, so blessed to have a partner as wonderful as you.

Love,
Me *=