Attack of the Killer Unibrow
Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration.
On Saturday, I went to Jacklin K. Salon in Evanston to get my hair cut. The last haircut I got was in November–nearly a year ago. Sunday had potential to be a big day for me (more on that in another post), so I decided to say goodbye to my many, many dead ends. So long suckers. It was nice knowing you.
A girl named Crystal cut and styled my hair. She was attentive and seemed to get it when I said that I have NO TIME to do my hair on a day-to-day basis. I wanted her to cut in a few long layers and some long angled bangs, but only if they weren’t going to interfere with my wash/comb/bun-type-thing/volia! routine. She was confident that the bangs would work and, thankfully, she was right. So now, I have some style to my hair… that is, I have style if I can resist clipping back my bangs with bobby pins.
On my way out, I decided to talk to Sue, their esthetician, to see about perhaps getting my eyebrows waxed. My eyebrows are, uhm, uneven. I had them waxed by a family member way, way, WAY back in the day, and well, lets just say she wasn’t exactly skilled in the process. Since then, I’ve been a super-tweezer. I’ve tried my best to stay within the boundaries of my once-waxed brows but have inevitably tweezed one too many hairs here and a few too many hairs there. Anyway. I told her about what I had going on on Sunday, acknowledged the fact that yes, my eyebrows are uneven and that there wasn’t much that could be done about that at this point, and she suggested that I lie back and let her have a go at rectifying my unibrow problem. Uhm. Okay. I didn’t think I really had a unibrow. I mean, yeah, a little clean up between the girls was welcomed, but, unibrow? I don’t know about that.
Anyway, she cleaned up my brows and told me to stop tweezing and to come back to see her when my brows have grown in so that she can fix their asymmetry. So, for the past few days, I have, with great restraint, only been tweezing between my two brows. I mean, I can’t stop doing that, right? HELLO! UNIBROW, REMEMBER? I’m embarrassed to go out in public with all these stray hairs growing in, but honestly, what else can I do? I’d like them to be even one day, and for that to happen, I need to start over. I need my full brows back. (Also, I’m bringing sexy back. Just sayin’…)
If at any time over the next few months you’re in Chicago and you run into a girl with out-of-control eyebrows and a toddler who is denying his relationship to her, say hello! Though I’ll be super embarrassed to be meeting someone new looking the way I do, I’ll also be delighted to make your acquaintance.
Unibrow? that’s a ballsy thing to tell a potential client. this reminds my of my hair stylist, who’s lady doctor asked her if she wanted kids, because if she did, she should hurry up since she’s getting old (she’s 31!)
She also told me that I really aught to go out and buy some make up. Sounds horrible, but in the context of our conversation, it was only really, really bad. (=
Also, wow to your hair stylist’s lady doctor’s comment. That’s pretty horrible. Oh-and “lady doctor” just made my afternoon!
Time for an eyebrow pencil! I fell in love with those when I shaved half (the WHOLE HALF, to the skin) of my right eyebrow off. You can fill in any “gaps” and if you get the right color (not too dark, that is) it looks natural enough so that people won’t stare.
BTW, I’m sure it’s not nearly as bad as you think.
You do NOT have a unibrow.
Red-I will put an eyebrow pencil on my shopping list. Also, I would like to see pics of that shaving incident.
Mich-I KNOW! It was kinda crazy that she even said it… I don’t think she was *totally* serious.
My old hairdresser used to beg me every time I came in for a trim to let her wax my eyebrows. Seriously. BEG. Way to build up a teen girl’s self-esteem …
And yeah, eyebrow pencils are great, as I discovered the first time I ever tried waxing my own eyebrows and took half of one right off. My sister couldn’t look at me for months without bursting into laughter.
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