Dear Jude - and other times

Archive for the ‘Dear Jude’ Category

22 Apr

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
- Dear Jude
- Featured
Letter to Jude: Month 23

3

Dear Jude,

Well. It has finally happened. You’ve officially entered the last month of your second year of life. Month number 23 was an exciting month for all of us. You got to meet a cousin you had never met before and spend some time with your Aunt Erin and Uncle Grant. We celebrated Easter with our good friends Helen, Matt, and Annabel. You, Papa, and I spent a romantic night in Skokie together.

Late in March, your cousin Sean came to stay with us for a few days over his Spring Break. I was really excited for you to meet him. When I was growing up I spent a few summers with Sean and his family in Ohio and always had a great time. It was weird for me to see him all grown up and you so little. Around the same time, Aunt Erin and Uncle Grant came to visit! You were overwhelmed with excitement and spent most of their visit screeching with joy! We took Aunt Erin and Uncle Grant to the Lincoln Park Zoo one afternoon (actually-they took us!) and to Be By Baby another day. You had fun looking at the lions and tigers and monkeys at the zoo, and had fun playing with the baby dolls at Be By Baby.

Aunt Erin and Uncle Grant gifted you an awesome wooden sushi set to go with your new wooden kitchen. You love cutting up the wooden bell pepper, tofu, and baby bok choy and making stir-fry for you and I to share. Speaking of foodie-type things, this month you also started drinking from a regular cup with some consistency. I started giving you your own glass of green smoothie to enjoy, and as the days went by, you decided you wanted your water in a cup as well. You still miss your mouth and spill your water at least 40% of the time, but overall you’re overcoming this new challenge.

Every day you wake up with a new word on your tongue. Early in the month you woke up asking for a “hug!” Just yesterday you yelled “Fuck!” Fuck!” at me over and over. And when I responded by handing you one of your play forks, you were excited to see you had gotten your point across. These days you often tell us you want to “play” at the “park” and that you want to “kick” your “ball.” You’ve started saying your own name and you consistently ask for “Ennn” (Aunt Erin) and as of yesterday, “Mark.”

In the mornings, after Papa goes to work, I usually give Grandma Rose a call. She likes to hear how you’re doing and chat about all the exciting things that have occurred in the previous 24 hours. Just recently you began demanding to talk to Grandma on the phone. It has gotten to the point where I just let you roam the house, cell phone in hand, while I do dishes or clean up from breakfast. Grandma loves talking to you, and you love talking to her.

Next month, you, Papa, and I are going to take a plane ride back to Pennsylvania to visit with Grandma Rose and Grandpa Mike, Great Grandpa, and all our friends. We’re staying with Aunt Demi, Uncle Scott, and the boys and already have a play date set up with your friend Nadia! I just talked to Aunt Helen last night, and from what she tells me, Ebby is quite excited to play princess dress-up with you! I’m really looking forward to this trip, Jude. I can’t wait to go to Abe’s for breakfast and Zummo’s for coffee. I can’t wait to see all of our Peacemeal friends; Dr. Jennifer; Aunt Becky and Uncles Paul and Rob; and Aunt Michelle and Uncle DJ! I can’t wait to take you back to South Abington and Nay Aug Park to play. I really looking forward to seeing how you interact with Crosby, Nolan, Eli, Luke, Ebby, and Nadia… I’m really excited, Monkey. Can you tell?

So, let’s enjoy these last days before you turn 2. Let’s enjoy the nice weather Chicago has been (sporadically) experiencing, and let’s enjoy learning about the world together. As sad as it makes me to see you getting bigger and bigger as each day goes by, I’m truthful when I say I’m looking forward to your second birthday and to watching you grow up.

Love,
Mama
29 Mar

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
- Dear Jude
- Featured
Letter to Jude: Month 22

3

Dear Jude,

Tick, tick, tick… Do you hear that ticking sound, Monkey? That’s the sound of the minutes ticking by until your second birthday. With less than two months to go, I’ve found myself being especially reflective of all that you’re doing these days. I love watching you grow up!, but at the same time, I worry that our snuggle sessions are on the decline.

This past month, you began asserting your autonomy in ways you hadn’t before. It’s no secret that you love to WALK! RUN! JUMP! CLIMB! But now, you love to do these thing en route to whatever our destination may be. In other words, Mama’s having an increasingly harder time getting you to willingly ride in the Ergo these days. Nearly every morning, you say, “Outside?” and when I reply, “Yes, in just a bit,” you then ask, “Hands?” because you want to hold my hand and walk… not ride on my back or belly. Lucky for us, it’s usually not a big deal if we turn a 15-minute walk to the library into a 40-minute one. You like to stop and feel each tree we pass. You dislike walking on the sidewalk and prefer to walk in the grass whenever possible. Sometimes I really have to work to usher you across the street because you’re so interested in what’s going on around you that you forget to walk. I love watching you learn.

Speaking of walks to the library, this past month you’ve really enjoyed reading The Gruffalo, Room on the Broom, and Charlie Cook’s Favorite Book, all by Julia Donaldson. We’ve been going to the library at least once each week, and you’ve started picking out your own books. I don’t think you have much of a system, but I like checking out the books you pull off the shelves and flip through on your own.

We had a few warm days last month, and we took advantage of them as best we could. One Tuesday afternoon, we made the trek down to our old stomping grounds and spent a few hours at Oz Park with your girlfriend and her mom. You two had a great time digging in the empty flower beds and getting dirty. We’ve taken a lot of walks around our neighborhood. On any given day we might hit the library, the fruit market, the grocery store, one of our local cafes, or of course, the playground! You like riding in the carts at the grocery store and sharing a bagel with me at the cafe. You don’t slow down, at all, when you’re at the playground. At the end of the day, you’re tired, but honestly, I’m tired-er! Keeping up with you is tough.

On the days we’re stuck inside, you like to color at your new table and play with your new wooden kitchen. You cook pretend meals for us (and the cats, and your stuffed animals), and throw everything in the (play) sink when you’re done. You’ve also taken to RUNNING laps around the house. You’re really fun to watch.

Again, this past month I listened and watched as your vocabulary grew. You’ve started requesting “a-pasta” at regular intervals and ask for your “cheese” in a “cup” on a daily basis. On our walks you point out every “car(s),” “bus,” and “choo-choo” we see. You (occasionally) tell us when you need to use the potty, and you tell me when you want to “wash”–that is, take a bath.

So now, Jude, we’ve got two countdowns to concern ourselves with: the countdown to nice weather and the countdown to your second birthday. I’m anxious for the first event to occur but am hoping the second takes it’s time. I love you, Love Bug, and I’m looking forward to our next month together!

Love,
mama
21 Feb

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
Letter to Jude: Month 21

0

Dear Jude,

Do you realize how close to being two years old you are? Today you turned 21 months old: that means you’ve been on the outside for one and three-quarter years. Eep! I don’t know if I’m ready for you to be two! Slow down with the growing up, please! Please?

February brought with it some impressive accomplishments on your part. Your vocabulary has tripled? quadrupled? in the past month. And, while you’re not quite able to say “I want ice cream” with the diction of a college English professor (or that 19-month-old super geeky baby girl), you rarely have trouble getting your point across.

Near the end of January, you realized that you’re able to clasp your hands behind your back. That trick kept you occupied for a few days. Early in February you learned to “clink and drink”– that is, tap your sippy cup to Papa’s or my cup and then drink from it as though you were toasting to our health– and now you incline your cup towards mine on a daily basis. You’ve been honing your imitation skills this month as well. After watching me run down the hall and jump up and down trying (but failing) to turn off the smoke alarm, you smile, laugh, and mimic my flailing to a tee. You like to dance. You make up your own songs, sing them, and applaud yourself at the end of each one. You’re learning to feed yourself with a spoon and fork, and you’re already doing quite well with each!

You, Papa, and I were all sick with the stomach flu a few weeks ago. None of it seemed to bother you…I wish I could say the same for Papa and me. The worst thing about you (and us) being sick is that we got (back) into the habit of watching numerous videos each day. Or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that we got into the habit of watching the same video over and over and over again each day. Jude, you LOVE the VeggieTales movie The Lord of the Beans. And, as much as I hate that you love that video, or videos in general, I love watching you watch that movie. I love seeing your reaction when Larry the Cumber comes on screen. I love it when you laugh at “Randolf” and “Todo Baggypants” at the beginning of the film. I love how you sway back and forth to the VeggieTales theme song. I love everything about you. Have you picked up on that?

Papa and I got you a Learning Tower earlier this month, and at the end of last week, I was (finally) able to put it together for you. I think I might love this piece of furniture more than you do, Monkey! I love having you at counter-height. I love that you can watch what I’m doing and that I can include you in the work I have to do in the kitchen. You simply love to be in the middle of things. You love playing with your toys on the counter and you love helping me cook and bake.

You and I have made a few really good friends since moving to Rogers Park in December. We spend a few days a week with our friends Miles and Aimee, and we have a standing date with your friend Stella and her papa, Ian, on Wednesdays. We’ve been getting out pretty consistently, despite the cold weather. We go to Stories with Nadine on Saturdays at The Common Cup and we hit the library at least once weekly. Right now, your favorite books are Hippos Go Berserk! and Snuggle Puppy, both by Sandra Boynton. Next week I’m hoping to pick up a few Mo Willems books from the library because you really love Knuffle Bunny, and I think you would enjoy some of his other books as well.

Winter is on its way out, Baboo. Spring is just around the corner. In just a few short weeks (cross your fingers!) we’ll be spending our days outside, going for walks and playing at the playground. I can’t wait to explore our neighborhood with you…to discover different shops and places to play. I can’t wait for you to be able to play in the dirt and build sand castles at the beach. Only a few more weeks, Jude. The countdown is on!

Love,
mama
22 Jan

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
Letter to Jude: Months 18-20

0

Dear Jude,

Today is your 20-month birthday. I was too sick to write to you when you turned 18 months old, and we didn’t have an internet connection at home when you turned 19 months old, so today I write to you in honor of those months as well as this month of your life.

November was a tough month for all of us. You, Papa, and I were all sick at various times. The weather turned cold that month, and we started having to dress you in layers upon layers of clothing every time we wanted to leave the house. For Thanksgiving we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house in Galesburg. You had a lot of fun playing with Aunt Kenzie, Aunt Erin, and Uncle Grant, and you had a blast playing with Daizy. However, our trip got cut short by a day because you and I were feeling pretty terrible.

December was colder and snowier than November. We spent a good portion of our playtime in the church nursery playing with your friend Annabel and her mom Helen. One cold, snowy night in December, you, Papa, and I and Helen and Annabel walked to the Lincoln Park Zoo and took in their display of Christmas lights. You seemed to really enjoy our time there, despite the icicles that were forming on your eyelashes. During Advent you made your theatrical debut in the annual Church of Our Saviour Christmas Pageant. You were a sheep, and everyone was impressed by how well you wandered around during the play.

On December 20th we moved into our new apartment in Rogers Park. Though it was a tough move to accomplish because of its timing, Papa and I really wanted to be in our new home in time for Christmas…even if it meant we wouldn’t have time to put up tree. On Christmas Eve you opened your special gift from Papa-a new pair of pajamas! Normally you would have also received an ornament to hang on the tree, but this year we didn’t find one for you until after the holiday. On Christmas morning you opened gifts from Mama and Papa; Grandma Rose and Grandpa Mike; Great Grandpa; and Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Troy. You received blocks and books and clothes and a puzzle…a good haul, indeed!

Early in January, we traveled back to Galesburg to celebrate (Orthodox!) Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa and all your aunts and uncles on Papa’s side. Not only did you receive some pretty awesome clothes, books, and toys, but you were also gifted (well, we all were!) the news that you’re going to have a baby cousin later this year! How exciting!

Last night I went to an inauguration party with Dr. Meggie. I was only gone for about four hours, but I missed you terribly. When I got home, you gave me so. many. hugs. It was incredible. I don’t like being away from you, Monkey, but I do love it when we reunite.

Since my last letter to you, you’ve grown by leaps and bounds. You can actually get your feet off the ground a bit when you jump. You can say “ball” and “shoe” and “bye-bye” now, and you’re learning how to sign “book.” You’re even more willful today than you were yesterday, and that’s saying something. You like to pretend that your Larry the Cucumber magnet is a phone…actually, you like pretending that most of your toys are phones. When you wake up in the morning, you like to get your slippers off of Papa’s night stand and say “shoe, shoe” until either he or I puts them on your feet. You sing and dance along to The Terrible Twos. You’ve nearly grown out of your size medium Fuzzi Bunz. Your hair is getting so, so long.

This winter has been tough for us, Jude…we’ve been stuck inside a lot. It’s hard getting bundled up and it’s hard facing the subzero temperatures Chicago has been experiencing over the past few weeks. I’ve lost my temper more than I would like to admit, and I worry that you’re bored having to play with the same old toys day after day. I long for spring and for the chance to play outdoors with you without having to dress you in 15 layers of clothes plus a snowsuit. Soon though, Monkey. Soon we’ll be visiting the local parks and going for daily walks just like we did when we first moved to the city. Before you know it, the sun won’t be setting until 8pm, and I’ll be struggling to convince you that it’s night time. I promise. It’s right around the corner. Until then, I’ll do my best to make the rest of the winter more bearable than the first part of it has been. Do you think you hang on until the cold weather breaks, Jude? Can we try… together?
Love,
mama
24 Oct

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
Letter to Jude: Month 17

4

Dear Jude,

Today is your 17 month birthday. You decided to humor me and go to bed early, thus allowing this letter to be written on time (for once)…

Well, that’s how this month’s letter began, Monkey. A millisecond after I typed the period at the end of the second sentence, you woke up, and I was unable to complete this letter. So, like many of your monthly letters, this one comes to you a few days late.

I’m not sure when it happened, exactly, but sometime over the past month or so, you grew up. No, you’re not driving or dating yet, but you’re simply not the baby that was born 17 months and 1 day ago. You’ve done a fair amount of growing into yourself over the past 30 days. Your personality has developed even further into something we can only call “you.” Your activity level has increased 10-fold (if that’s even possible), and your ability to communicate and comprehend blows me away.

We spent a fair amount of time reading Pat the Bunny this past month. You LOVE this book and insist that your Papa or I read it over and over and over again at each sitting. (Your, eh, enthusiasm for this book has caused Papa to hide it from you, on occasion). You also request I’m as Quick as a Cricket and Charlie Parker Played Be Bop on a daily basis, and those, too, are read at least half a dozen times every time we sit down to read. I love that you love books. I hope you’ll love Harry Potter as much as I do, Monkey, ’cause I can’t wait to share those stories with you

We haven’t spent quite as much time outside as I would have liked to this month, partly because your nap schedule has been off for the past few weeks. You’ve been waking up later (yay!), which means you nap later, but by the time you get up it’s time for lunch, so we don’t have time to play. Normally we would nap after lunch, but your late morning nap means you don’t go down until 2:30 or 3, and by that time your friends are up and ready to go, but you’re ready for sleep. Hopefully you’ll get back on track over the next week or so.

This is your fancy new raincoat. Our friend, Betsy, found it while she was out shopping and picked it up because she knew I was looking for one for you. While we didn’t play outside much this past month, we did go for quite a few walks in the rain. Let me tell you, this coat came in very handy as we braved the rain and wind that defines Chicago.

You stomp your feet when you dance. Papa and I call them your happy feet. Sometimes, when Papa is laying on the floor and playing with you, you stand on his chest/belly and have happy feet up there. It’s great fun to watch, though painful to be on the receiving end of, I hear.

Lately, when you wake up from your afternoon nap, you like to veg a bit, so we watch Veggies Tales on YouTube together for a few minutes. I love the way you lean your head against mine, and I love how you clap along to your favorite songs.

I’m looking forward to spending the cold winter months with you, snuggled up under blankets, with your favorite book in hand. I can’t wait to build snowmen and play in the snow with you. I think we’re going to have a blast together this winter, Jude. Aren’t you excited?

Love,
mama
22 Sep

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
Letter to Jude: Month 16

0

Dear Jude,

Yesterday you turned 16 months old. I know I’m a day late in writing this letter to you, but yesterday was a busy day for us, so I took the easy way out and just wrote my weekly Sunday Drive post. I was tired and didn’t feel like I had the energy to put as much into this letter as I wanted to. Today, however, I’m more than up to the task.

This past month was much like the months before it in that you learned a ton of new stuff. I suppose that’s how things work when you’re little: you learn and learn and learn. Still, it’s awesome watching you develop and pick up new skills. Just this month you learned how to spin around (after only watching Papa do it once!)! You’ve started giving running hugs and you can (and do!) climb like it’s nobody’s business.

I’ve discovered that you (really, really) like goat’s milk cheese, smoothies, and Greek yogurt, so most days you and I indulge in at least one of these items. I love sitting on the playroom floor with you and sharing a yogurt cup. Most of the time you’ll bring a book over for me to read to you in between the spooning of the yogurt. Speaking of books, you’ve been devouring your books lately. No, really, you’ve literally been eating your books. Your papa and I have tried and tried and tried to discourage you, but you love the way your Sandra Boynton books taste.

We spent a lot of time playing outside this past month. We visited a few new parks, shared scones and ran around together at Green City Market, and took a bunch of walks around our neighborhood. Papa led us on one or two adventures, and even got us successfully to our final destination on occasion. Now that Autumn is here, I’m looking forward to showing you the leaves as they change color and spending time with you outside, just breathing in the crisp fall air.

I’m grateful for every minute we get to spend together, Monkey. Sometimes, when you’re having a particularly tough day, I get frustrated and need a bit of a break. But I want you to know that there is nowhere I’d rather be than with you. (Oh yes, and with Papa!)

Love,

mama
25 Aug

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
Letter to Jude: Month 15

1

Dear Jude,

A few days ago you turned 15 months old. I can’t believe how big you’re getting. I can’t believe how much you can do on your own.

This past month was big for you. You learned to sign “please” and “thank you” and “water.” You can tell me (when you’re in the right mood) that a cat says “meow” and a dog says “bow wow.” You’ve started to say “Papa” when prompted, though you’ll usually say “Dada” instead. You use “hello” and “hi” interchangeably, and you answer “yeah” when asked a question to which you’re in agreement.

You’ve handled our move to Chicago fairly well. The first week was a bit rough, but Week 2 in the city was a breeze. We’ve fallen into a routine that really seems to suit you, and I’ve been trying my best to stick to that routine (for your sake as well as mine). The change of scenery hasn’t changed your sleeping habits. You still run to my side of the bed when Papa or I ask you “Where do you go for milky?”

You’ve become friends with a little girl named Eleanora from the play group we go to on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. She’s one day older than you, and she’s got blonde, curly hair. Up until this point, you’ve spent most of your time with her trying to keep her out of the play cars you like to ride in so much. However, you did share your Teddy Puffs with her, so I think you’re finally starting to understand this sharing concept.

You and I have been doing a lot of singing this month. You’re starting to learn the hand motions for The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Five Little Monkeys. You’ll also clap your hands during If You’re Happy and You Know It (and you also give me kisses during the last verse since I sneakily changed “shout hooray!” to “kiss your mom!”). Your pool of dance moves has grown exponentially this month, and you seem to find great joy in stomping your feet and waving your arms all around.

You’re charming everyone you meet in this big city. We can’t take a ride on a city bus or on the L without multiple people commenting on how cute/happy/friendly you are. You have such a fantastic personality, monkey (and you’re super cute to boot!). I’m amazed at how much autonomy you’ve gained in the past month…how much you seem to have grown into yourself. You’re fantastic, Jude. Each day you leave me in awe of something you say or do. I feel so lucky to get to spend every day with you…to watch you grow and learn and comprehend new things. Your mere existence blows my mind.

Love,
mama
21 Jul

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
Letter to Jude: Month 14

2

Dear Jude,

Today you turned 14 months old. Where, oh where, did the time go?

This month you earned yourself a new nickname. Now you’re not just Mama and Papa’s Sweet Baboo, you’re also their little monkey. Last month you mastered walking. This month you’re perfecting your climbing skills. You started out by climbing on top of an old diaper box and then quickly moved on to climbing onto one of your plastic abominations. You’ve scaled the yoga bolster that’s blocking you from some wires in our bedroom, and you’ve about mastered the climb to the top of the suitcase that is holding close the door to Papa’s closet. You use your toes to grip the ground as you walk and the step onto which you’re trying to climb. You LOVE bananas.

One of your new favorite things to do is open my dresser drawers, pull my clean clothes out, and either track them all over the upstairs or put them on your head (this includes, but is not limited to, my underwear). Sometimes Papa helps you put the clothes on properly. Sometimes he helps fasten my purple sparkly bra around your waist.

Your vocabulary and your understanding are growing by leaps and bounds. You don’t hesitate to say “mama” or “dada” anymore, and you LOVE to say “hello, hello, hello” to everyone you meet. Just yesterday you started signing “more” again, and this time you’re doing it with authority. On Sunday we went food shopping and I wore you on my back. As we walked through Wegmans, you took great joy in “clap, clap, clapping” and making kissy sounds and putting your arms straight up in the air as I called out action after action of what Simon Says. Speaking of kissy sounds… you give kisses now! Mostly you kiss your stuffed monkey or Pat the Giraffe, but every now and then you toss mom and dad a bone and slobber all over our faces as well.

I’m a little worried I’m going to cause you to be a bit OCD when you grow up. I noticed the other day that your papa and I instruct you to do things in groups of three: clap, clap, clap; shake, shake, shake; chew, chew, chew; dance, dance, dance. I hope that you don’t end up having to touch each door handle three times before you leave your house when you get older or hop on one foot three times in a circle before going to bed at night. I promise I’ll try to vary the way I teach you to do things from now on. I might even try just saying the word once and seeing how that goes.

You, Papa, and I have been doing a lot of fun things lately. Just yesterday we all went to the state park for a swim. We met Aunt Demy and Uncle Scott and some other friends there for a picnic dinner, and afterwards, when it started to rain on our game of Frisbee, you happily hung out in the backpack on my back getting soaked to the bone. It was so much fun, Baboo. I can’t wait to do it again!

And the big news, Jude, is that your papa got a job in Chicago, so we’re going to be moving in just a few short weeks! I’m so excited for this move, Monkey. It means a huge lifestyle change for all of us. I won’t be working as much once we get out there, so you and I will get to spend a TON of time together. Do you remember the zoo we went to back in April? Jude, we can go there every day once we move! We’ll only be about a mile away from there, and the best part? It’s FREE! You know what else, Jude? Wrigley Field is a short train ride away, so we can go and see the Cubs play WHENEVER WE WANT! Oh! Oh! And there’s a beach in Chicago, too, Jude! It’s right along Lake Michigan. I’ve never been there, but your papa has, and he says it’s great. I can’t wait to take you all over the city. We’re going to have such a great time.

Love,
mama
21 Jun

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
Letter to Jude: Month 13

1

Dear Jude,

Today you turned 13 months old. Hooray! Congratulations! You’re officially into your second year of life. How does it feel?

Shortly after you turned one year old, you started walking. Now that you’ve pretty much mastered that walking thing, it is no longer good enough for you. Since you can, you simply MUST run. A nice stroll down the hallway is no longer an option; you sprint whenever possible. You still fall an awful lot, but it doesn’t deter you in the slightest. You love being mobile. You love moving around. You love chasing the cats.

You and I seem to have come to an agreements of sorts. For the first part of this month, there was much whining and fussing on your part and much frustration and anger on my part. You’ve let up on the whining and fussing, and I’ve let go of (most of) the frustration and (all of) the anger. We’ve spent seven days together, one-on-one, this month. They were some of the best days we’ve had, I think. We spent a lot of the time napping together, but we also went on a walk with our friend Joanie, read a fair number of books, sang silly songs, and shared our meals at the dining room table. I didn’t get much cleaning done during these seven days, but honestly, I don’t care! We had so much fun together… I wouldn’t trade that for anything in this world. Not even a spotless house.

You have started giving the BEST. HUGS. EVER. lately. I don’t know what I did to make me rank up there with the cats, but baby, thanks! I love it when we’re playing in your room and you come barreling at me, arms wide open. Most of the time you fall into me, hugging me and holding onto me for more than a few seconds each time. It’s pure heaven… even better than chocolate.

You went swimming for the first time earlier this month, and though you were apprehensive at first, I really do think you enjoyed yourself. Your Papa is looking forward to teaching you to swim. I’m looking forward to relaxing pool-side.

As each month goes by, you become more and more vocal. I guess that’s what babies do, but I’m constantly blown away by how much you have to say. In addition to talking, you’ve really gotten the hang of clapping this past month. Previously, you would awkwardly put your hands not quite together when Papa or I would urge you to “clap, clap, clap.” Now… well, now you’re an expert at clapping. There’s no hesitation in your eyes anymore; there’s no worry that your hands might miss each other and send you spinning around from the force of your effort. Now when you want to clap, you bring your hands together in rapid succession, each time knowing with certainty that each hand will meet it’s mark.

Although I had hoped that you would live on breastmilk alone for at least the first 10 or so years of your life (hey! Mama LOVES her D cup!), you’ve recently started eating a ton of solid food each day. Unfortunately, I haven’t found the time to make your baby food, so most of what you’ve been eating has come from a jar. I’m sorry, Jude. I really wanted to say that I cooked for you right from the very beginning. However, after thirteen months, I think you and I both know that Mama isn’t Little Susie Homemaker. At least the jarred stuff is all organic! That’s something. Right?

Thank you for another outstanding month, Baboo. I can’t wait to see what next month has in store for us!

Love,
mama
05 Jun

Posted by
Jillian Frank

Category
- Dear Jude
My Apology

0

Dear Jude,

I wish I was writing this letter to celebrate another month of your life, but sadly, I am not.

The past few days have been terribly hard for you and me. You’re either teething or not feeling well or you’re bored or you can’t communicate exactly what it is you want, and I… well, I’ve been getting frustrated and angry and annoyed. I haven’t been as patient as I need to be. I haven’t been the best mom that I can be; I feel like I’ve been down right rotten. Ever since I let the internet people in on my dirty little secret of my abysmal parenting skills, things have just gotten worse. And what’s more humiliating is that I can’t stop writing about my subsequent shortcomings (what kind of mother lets her child get a CAT’S NAIL stuck in his/her mouth?). I have verbal diarrhea of the writing kind.

All of the things that used to entertain you don’t cut it anymore. I thought that giving you the run of the upstairs would be exciting for you (and I hoped that it would make things a little easier for me). That worked for about a day, but now you’re just done with that too.

You’ve started getting very daring with the cats, and while they put up you right now, I can see their patience waning. You have scratches on your hands from trying to hug Cirrus when he didn’t want to be hugged. I know you love them and their furry little bodies, but baby, they need their space! I’ll be happy to be the one you hug. I know I’m not furry, but give me a few weeks! I’ll quit shaving!

None of this is your fault. You’re a year old. You can’t control your emotions or understand that you’re not supposed to pull the cats’ tails. You can’t be expected to recognize when you’re overtired or hell, even when you’re just plain old regular tired. That’s my job. It’s my job to anticipate and meet your needs. It’s my job to recognize when you’re tired or hungry or bored and do my best to remedy the situation. It’s my job to do all of this in a caring and respectful fashion. You don’t deserve my anger or frustration, and I’m sorry you’ve had to be on the receiving end of it.

So, tonight I am a new woman. I am a new mother. When you wake up in the morning, Jude, you’re going to be blown away by the difference you sense in me. I can’t promise you that I won’t screw up and revert to my old ways, but I can promise you that I’m going to try my best to be better for you, because you deserve to have the best mama in the world.

Love,
mama

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